Author Archives: admin

Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi Part-2

Newhindisms ka yeh post aapke liye lekar aaya hai Husband wife jokes in hindi, Aap iss post ko apne friends ke sath whatsapp, facebook par bhi share kar sakte ho”

Patni: Suno ji, aapki wo blue shirt mujhse jal gayi ha.
Pati: Koi baat nahi Darling, mere paas wesi ek aur shirt hai.
Patni: Pata hai, tabhi to mene us shirt me se kapda kaat kar
jail hui shirt par laga diya hai …!!
pati-patni-jokes-21

***

Newly Married Wife: Yadi sasural pahonchne ke baad
gharwaalo ne mujhe gaana gaane ke liye kaha to main
kya karungi?
Pati: Tab tum gaana suna dena, taki farmaish karne walo
ko apni galti ka ehsaas ho jaye …!!

***

Pati: School ke jamane me main jidhar se bhi
gujarta tha, ladkiyon ki najarein mujh par hi
tiki rahti thi.
Patni: Main to aaj bhi yahi kahti hoon ki tumhe
kisi chidiya ghar me hona chahiye tha …!!

***

Patni: Aji, sunte ho, Bablu to aajkal jhuth par jhuth
bolna sikh raha hai. Jaise sach bolna to use aata hi nahi hai.
Pati: Maan ke gun to bachcha pahle sikhta hai,
pita ke gun to usme dheere dheere hi aaenge …!!

***

Santa (Preeto se): Tum kon ho?
Preeto (Santa se): Ab tum apni biwi ko bhi bhul gaye?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai …!!

***

Patni ne pati ko kaha: Please meri aur munh karke so jaao…
Mujhe darr lag raha hai…
Pati: Achcha! Bas apni hi chinta hai, main bhale hi
dar dark ke mar jaaun …!!

***

Pati: Priye, kaan me kuch aesi meethi baat kah do,
jisse ki mere paanv jameen par hi na pade.
Patni (Kaan ke paas ja kar junjhulate hue) : Jaao, faansi laga lo …!!

***

Patni: Shaadi par jo tumne sone ki ring di thi, wo aaj kahin gir gayi.
Pati: Aaj hi mere coat ki pocket se 100 Rs. Chori hue,
Kher koi baat nahi.
Patni: Kyun?
Pati: Tumhari ring mil gayi.
Patni: Sach, kahan mili?
Pati: Usi pocket me, jisme se 100 Rs. gayab hue hain …!!

***

Pati: Pet me gadbad hai.
Patni: Aajwaine le lo…
Pati: Thik hai, tum kah rahi ho to,
aaj wine le leta hu …!!
pati-patni-jokes-22

***

Bima company k eek agent se ek sahib ne aakar pucha:
Yadi main apni patni ka bima karau aur kal wo mar jaaye
to mujhe kya milega?
Bima agent ne bade aaram se jawab diya: Jail ya faansi…!!

***

Judge (Lady se): Tumne apne pati ke sir par kursi de maari
aur wo tut gayi?
Lady (Judge se): Ji haan, magar ye mera irada nahi tha.
Judge (Lady se): Yaani tumhari niyat pati par hamla karne ki nahi thi.
Lady (Judge se): Ji nahi, meri niyat kursi todne ki nahi thi …!!

***

Patni: Jab main mar jaungi, to tum kya karoge?
Pati: Main bhi mar jaunga.
Patni: kyun?
Pati: Kyunki kai baar jyada khushi se bhi aadmi mar jata hai …!!

***

Patni: Kya baat hai, jab bhi tum apne sasural jaate ho,
bahut sahme se rahte ho. Jab shaadi karne gaye the, us din to
bahut akad rahe the.
Pati: Us din main akela nahi tha, puri baarat ke saath tha …!!

***

Pati: Ye mirror tumhari wajah se tuta hai.
Patni: Bilkul nahi, tumhari wajah se tuta hai.
Mene tumhe phooldaan phenk kar maara tha,
yadi tum apni jagah se nahi hat te to mirror kabhi nahi tuta …!!

***

Patni: Aaj aap bhot der se ghar aaye.
Pati: Aur tum itni raat tak jag kar kya kar rahi ho.
Patni: Main 5 ghante se aapke intzaar me jag rahi thi.
Pati: Aur main 5 ghante se isi intzaar me khada tha ki
tum so jao to main andar aaun …!!

***

Pati: Chalo aaj kisi hotel me chal kar khana khate hai.
Patni: Kyun, kya mere haath ke bane khane se boar ho gaye ho?
Pati: Nahi, darasal, aaj bartan saaf karne ka man nahi kar raha …!!

***

Patni: Ye lijiye, baalo ko majboot karne wale oil ki bottle…
Pati: Par mere baal to jadte hi nahi.
Patni: Ye aapke liye nahi, Aapki secretary ke liye hai …!!
pati-patni-jokes-23

***

Lambe operation ke baad behoshi tutne par ek mariz ne aankhe
kholkar kamjor lafje me kaha: main kahan hu,
kya swarg me pahonch gaya hu?
Patni: Nahi pyaare, abhi filhaal tum narak me ho.
Pati: Saboot?
Patni: Kya main saboot ke tor par kam hoon?

***

Patni: Suno Ji, Aapke birthday ke liye itne MAST kapde liye hai…
ki bs pucho hi mat…
Pati: Love u Janu, Lao dikhao…
Patni: Haan, abhi pahan ke aati hoon…

***

Patni: Is bus ke conductor ne meri insult ki hai.
Pati: Bhala, wo kaise?
Patni: Jab main bus se utari to conductor ne kaha
teen sawariyan is seat par aa jaye…!!

***

Shadi ka function chal raha tha. Raman bhi apni
patni ke saath shadi me pahoncha. Thodi der me patni ne dekha ki
Raman kisi mahila se gul mil kar hanste hue baatein kar raha hai.
Patni ne Raman ke paas aakar kaha: Ye iodex main ghar jakar
tumhare sir ke ghaav par laga dungi.
Raman: Lekin mere sir me gaanv kahan hai?
Patni: Abhi hum ghar bhi kahan pahonche hain?

***

Patni: Arre sunte ho, ab porn movie dekhna band bhi karo,
Padosi kya sochenge, yahan mere kitchen tak aawajein aa rahi hai.
Pati: Ye kya kah rahi ho, main to women’s tennis ka match dekh raha hu…!!

***

Patni ek gun store me: Ji mujhe apne pati ke liye ek revolver kharidna hai.
Dukandar: Ji aap apne pati ki pasand batayengi, yani kis brand name ka?
Patni: Kisi bhi company ka chalega ji, bas mera pati do goliyon me hi
dher ho jaana chahiye.…!!

***

Doctor: Ye mar chukka hai…
Tabhi marij bol pada: Main jinda hoon…!
Marij ki patni: Tum chup raho ji, hamesha apni
chalate ho, itna bada doctor kya jhuth bolega?

***

Patni: Aaj hamari shaadi ki saalgirah hai, chalo murga banate hain
Pati: Haan, lekin apni galti ki saja bechare murge ko kyun de rahi ho …!!
pati-patni-jokes-24

***

Patni: Suno ji newspaper me khabar hai ki ek aadmi ne apni patni ko bech dala?
Pati: Oh! Kitne me?
Patni: Ek cycle ke badle me, kahin tum bhi to aesa nahi karoge.
Pati: Main itna murkh thode hi hu, tumhare badle me to car aa sakti hai…!!

***

Narak me ek aadmi ne shaitan se kaha: kya main apni
patni se baat kar sakta hoon.
Phone par baat hone ke bad us aadmi ne kaha: calling
karne ka bill kitna hua Sir.
Shaitan: Kuch bhi nahi Dost! Narak se Narak calling bilkul free hai …!!

***

Marte samay pati ne apni patni ko sab kuch sach batana chaha.
Us ne kaha “Main tumhe jeevan bhar dhoka deta raha.
sach to ye hai ki kai aauraton se mere najayaj sambandh the.”
Patni boli: “Main bhi sach batana chahungi. Tum bimari se
nahi mar rahe, maine tumhe dheere dheere asar karne wala
jahar diya hai.…!!

***

Pati: Sajni … apni julfon ko jara sanwar bhi liya karo?
Patni (sharmate hue): Aap bhi na…
Pati: “Maan Kasam” agar agli baar khane me baal aa gaya
to “Sajni” se “Gajni” bana dunga …!!

***

Pati: Tere baap ki jale par namak chidakne ki aadat gayi nahi.
Patni: Kyun kya hua?
Pati: Aaj fir se puch raha tha meri beti se shaadi karke
khush to ho na?

***

Shaadi ke 5 saal baad, Valentine day ke din pati biwi ke liye
white rose le kar aaya …
Biwi: Ye kya white rose? Valentine day ke din to red rose dete hai na ??
Pati: Ab jindagi me, pyaar se jyada shanti ki jarurat hai …!!

***

Patni: Pooja kiya karo, balaein tal jaegi.
Pati: Tere baap ne bahot ki hogi, uski tal gayi, mere palle pad gayi …!!

***

Patni raat ko aasmaan ke taaron ki taraf dekhte hue:
“Batao ji, wo kon si cheez hai, jo tum roj dekh to sakte ho par
tod nahi sakte?
Pati: Tera munh …!!
pati-patni-jokes-25

***

Pati apne marriage certificate ko ek ghante se dekh raha tha.
Biwi: Tum ek ghante se kya dekh rahe ho?
Pati: Expiry date dundh raha tha, saalo ne likhi hi nahi …!!

***

Patni ne naya phone liya … aur apne pati ko surprise dene ke liye
kitchen me jakar phone kiya.
Patni: Kaise ho jaanu.
Pati: Haan Darling, baad me phone karta hoon,
Abhi wo chudel kitchen me hain …!!

***

Pati (Dard se karahte hue) : Suno, mere seene me
bahot tej dard ho raha hai. Doctor ko jaldi phone karo.
Patni: Aapke mobile ka password kya hai?
Pati: Aesa karo, rahne do. Ab kuch achcha feel ho raha hai.
Shaam ko dikha denge …!!

***

Pati Patni me jhagda ho raha tha.
Patni: Main pura ghar sambhalti hoon …
kitchen sambhalti hoon … bachchon ko sambhalti hoon …
tum kya karte ho?
Pati: Main khud ko sambhalta hoon … tumhari
nashili aankhe dekhkar.
Patni: Aap bhi na … chalo batao, aaj kya banau aapki pasand ka …!!

***

Patni: Aaj to nayi kangi kharidni hi padegi.
Purani kangi ka ek daant toot gaya hai.
Pati (gusse me): Ek death toot gaya to kya tum nayi kangi kharidogi?
Patni: Chikho mat. Kharidni to padegi hi. Wo kangi ka aakhri daant jo tha …!!

***

Magan: Teri biwi tujhse kal jhagad kyun rahi thi?
Chagan: Arre yaar, aesi koi khaas baat nahi thi.
Uski photo facebook par upload karne ki jagah OLX par
upload ho gayi. Aur had to tab ho gayi jab ek ne comment kia:
Bhai ye 1970 ka kabad kisne daala hai …!!

***

Party chal rahi thi, Meena ne apne pati ko ungali se apni
aur aane ka ishara kiya.
Pati aa gaya aur puchne laga, “Kya koi kaam tha?”
Meena (Pati se): Kaam to kuch nahi tha. Bas main dekhna
chahti thi ki meri is ungali me kitni takat hai. …!!

*****

Agar aapka hamara yeh post Pati Patni Jokes in Hindi ne aapko kar diya hai hasne ko majbur to jarur share kariye apne dosto ke sath. aur comment karna na bhule… Thank you…
Pati Patni Jokes in Hindi Part-1 Ke liye yaha click kare…

Pati Patni Jokes in Hindi Part-1

Newhindisms ka yeh post aapke liye lekar aaya hai Pati Patni Jokes in Hindi, Aap iss post ko apne friends ke sath whatsapp, facebook par bhi share kar sakte ho”

Patni ghar ki rani hai
Karti apni manmani hai
Kaam batao to chid jaegi
Shopping karao to khil jaegi …!!
pati-patni-jokes-11

***

Patni agar poncha laga rahi ho,
to aese nikalna padta hai jaise usne
barudi surang bicha rakhi hai…!!

***

Patni: Tum mujhse kitna pyaar karte ho?
Pati: Jitna tum soch bhi nahi sakti!
Patni: Fir bhi kitna?
Pati: Itna ki dil karta hai tumhari jaisi ek aur le aau…!!

***

Pati (patni se): Tum meri zindagi ho…
Patni (khush hokar): Aur kaho achcha lag raha hai…
Pati: Aur lanat hai aesi zindagi par…!!

***

Dunia me ek cheej aesi hai jo kabhi
bhi patni ki nahi ho sakti – Galti…!!

***

Pati: Raja Dashrath ki 3 raaniyan thi.
Patni: To fir…??
Pati: To main 2 shaadiyan aur kar sakta hu.
Patni: Dropadi ka naam suna hai??
Pati: Tub bhi na pagli dil pe le leti hai…!!

***

Pati: Jaanu mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hai.
Patni: Jaao, bartan saaf kar do.
Pati: Arre neend me bol raha hu pagli…!!

***

Aaj ki patniyon ko ye samjh nahi aata ki kya kare.
Kharab kaamwali mile to khud ko kaam karna
padta hai…aur agar achchi mile to…
pati kaam kar jaata hai …!!

***

Patni: Hello! Kahan ho?
Pati: Motivate kar raha hu.
Patni: Kise?
Pati: Kise kya matlab?
Arre Moti, tera wait kar raha hue ek ghante se…!!
pati-patni-jokes-12

***

Patni: Suno Ji, Doctor ne mujhe ek mahina aaram
ke liye Switzerland ya Paris jaane ko kaha hai…
Hum kahan jayenge?
Pati: Dusre doctor ke paas …!!

***

Ek bewakoof pati ne apni patni se pucha –
Batao, shaadi me dulha godi ki jagah gadhe par
chadhkar kyun nahi aata?
Patni ne jawab dia – Taki dulhan ek saath do
gadho ko dekhkar behosh na ho jaye…!!

***

Thappad marne par naraj patni ko pati bola –
Aadmi use maarta hai jise pyaar karta hai.
Patni ne pati ko do thappad mare aur boli –
Aap kya samajhte ho ki main aapse pyaar nahi karti??

***

Ek aurat apni jibh par kumkum chaval laga rahi thi.
Pati: Ye kya kar rahi ho?
Patni: Aaj vishwakarma pooja hai, Shasta poojan kar rahi hoon…!!

***

Patni (Pati se): Tum jab office chale jaate ho to,
mujhe bhot gabrahat hoti hi.
Pati (Patni se): Tum chinta na karo. Main itni jaldi
laut aaunga ki tumhe pata bhi nahi chal paega.
Patni (Pati se): Yahi sochkar to aur gabrahat hone lagti hai…!!

***

Patni (Pati se): Kya tum mujhse pyaar karte ho?
Pati (Patni se): Haan!
Patni: Lekin tumhe to meri koi parwah hi nahi hai.
Pati: Pyaar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte…!!

***

Patni (Pati se): Jo aadmi chori karta hai,
Wo apni jindagi me kabhi na kabhi jaroor
Pachtata hai.
Pati (Patni se): Haan thik kehti ho, Shaadi se pahle
maine tumhara dil churaya tha, aaj tak pachta raha hoon…!!

***

Police: Hame aapke ghar ki talashi leni hai.
Suna hai aapke ghar me visfotak samagri hai.
Aadmi: Saheb, khabar to pakki hai….par
abhi wo mayke gayi hai…!!
pati-patni-jokes-13

***

Pati (Patni se): Aaj sunday hai, to mene socha,
Kuch aesh ki jaaye.
Patni (Pati se): Wo kaise?
Pati (Patni se): Ye lo picture ki 3 ticket.
Patni (Pati se): 3 kiske liye?
Pati (Patni se): Ek tumhare liye aur 2
tumhare mummy papa ke liye…!!

***

Patni: Kal raat tum neend me mujhe gaaliyaan
kyun de rahe the?
Pati: tumko galatfehmi hui hai.
Patni: Kaisi galatfehmi?
Pati: Yahi ki main soya hua tha…!!

***

Patni: Dear, Kya kabhi tumhare dil me ye
khyal aaya hai ki meri shaadi kisi aur se
ho jaati to achcha hota.
Pati: Bilkul nahi.
Patni: Sach
Pati: Main kisi aur ka bura kyun chahunga? …!!

***

Pati: Main tumse ek baat kahna chahta hoon.
Patni: kya?
Pati: Shaadi se pahle mere 10 affair the.
Patni: Ab jab kundali mili hai to gun to milenge hi …!!

***

Pati ne patni se ek cup chai banana ke lie kaha.
Patni (se): Tum khud bana lo.
Pati (Patni se): Mere sir me dard hai.
Patni (Pati se): Mere gale me dard hai.
Pati (Patni se): Thik hai to tum mera sir daba do.
main tumhara gala daba deta hoon…!!

***

Pati ne patni se ek cup chai banana ke lie kaha.
Patni (se): Tum khud bana lo.
Pati (Patni se): Mere sir me dard hai.
Patni (Pati se): Mere gale me dard hai.
Pati (Patni se): Thik hai to tum mera sir daba do.
main tumhara gala daba deta hoon…!!

***

Patni: Aji kya ye sach hai ki rupaiye paise bolte hain?
Pati: Haan, kahte to aesa hi hai.
Is par patni boli: To fir tum mujhe kuch paise de jaana.
Main ghar me akeli bethi boar hoti rahti hu…!!

***

Patni (Pati se): Jab main piano baja rahi thi usi samay
kisi ne meri aur ek joota phenka.
Pati (Patni se): Oh! To tum ek gaana aur gaao shayad
dusra joota bhi aa jayega…yaar kam se kam free me
ek jodi joote to mil jaenge…!!
pati-patni-jokes-14

***

Patni ne ulahane bhare swar me kaha,
“Agar tum akal se kaam lete to har mahine itni
bachat kar lete ki mere liye kam se kam 2 saadiyan
jarur kharid lete.”
“Agar main akal se kaam leta to mujhe saadiyon ko
kharidane ki kabhi naubat hi nahi padti.”
Pati ne muskura ke jawab dia …!!

***

Ek sahib ne chemist se medicine kharidate samay usse
kaha, “medicines ko alag alag packate me rakh kar us par
likh dijiye ki konsi meri biwi ki hai aur konsi mere kutte ki.
Main nahi chahta ki medicines badal jaye aur mere kutte
ko kuch ho jaye”…!!

***

Ek din romantic novel padhte hue patni ne pati se pucha:
“Agar koi khoobsurat ladka mujhe bhaga kar le ja raha ho
aur tum samne aa jao to tum kya karoge?”
Pati: “Main usse kahunga, Ae khuda ke nek bande,
bhagakar le jaane ki kya jarurat hai, aaram se le jao …!!

***

Court me ek joda talak lete hue…
Pati: Main apni patni se khush nahi hu!
Patni: Pura mohalla khush hai to aapko kya problem hai …!!

***

Patni: Main har roj puja karti hu….kaash
ek din Shri Krishna ke darshan ho jaye!
Pati: Ek baar Meera Bai ban kar jahar pile…
Shri Krishna kya, saare bhagwan ke darshan ho jayenge.…!!

***

Patni: Mere Pita Ji jab gaate the to udte hue
panchi gir jaya karte the.
Pati: Kya tumhare Pitaji munh me kartoos bhar kar gaate the…!!

***

Patni: Mene dunia ki sabse beautiful lady ko dekha,
Us par wo kapde bhot achche lag rahe the.
Pati: Achcha, fir?
Patni: Fir kya? Main aaine ke samne se hat gayi …!!

***

Pappu kangal hone par biwi se bola:
Tum bachchon ko apni nani ke yahan bhej do….
aur tum apni maa ke paas chali jaao.
Mera kya hai! Main apne sasural chala jaunga …!!
pati-patni-jokes-15

***

Pati: Main bewakoof tha, jo mene tumse shaadi ki.
Patni: Bilkul. Darasal, main pyaar me is kadar dubi thi,
ki mene notice hi nahi kiya …!!

***

Pati-patni aapas me baat kar rahe the,
Tabhi patni ne pati se pucha: kya tum mujhse
sach me pyaar karte ho.
Pati: Ye bhi koi puchne ki baat hai.
Patni: Vaada karo ki meri maut ke bad tum har roj
meri kabra par aaya karogge
Pati: Haan-haan, nischint raho. Kabristan mere
office ke raaste me hi padta hai …!!

***

Pati: Pichle ek ghante se chai ka wait kar raha hu.
Itni der tak tum balcony me kya kar rahi thi?
Patni: Pados wali Mrs. Sharma se baatein kar rahi thi.
Pati: Itni der tak jab baat karni thi to unhe ghar par hi kyun nahi bula lia?
Patni: Mene unse kaha tha, par wo boli mere paas time nahi hai …!!

***

Pati: Aese jeevan se achcha hai ki main mar jaun Prabhu,
tu mujhe utha le.
Patni: Bhagwan inse pahle mujhe utha le.
Pati: Prabhu, tu iski sun, main apni arji wapas leta hoon …!!

***

Pati: Kal tum mayke gayi thi to raat ko ghar me chor ghus aaye.
Unhone mujhe khub maara-pita, yahan tak ki mujhe murga
bhi bana diya.
Patni: Kya aapne shor nahi machaya?
Pati: Main koi darpok tha jo shor machata …!!

***

Ek din main Pande Ji ke ghar ke paas se nikal raha tha
to mujhe unke ghar se ajab ajab aawaj sunai dene lagi.
Ghar ke darwaje par unka ladka betha hua tha, mene
usse pucha ki beta mummy kya kar rahi hai?
Bachcha: Kapde dho rahi hai.
Main: Aur Papa kya kar rahe hain?
Bachcha: Uncle, Mummy jo kapde dho rahi hai,
use Papa pahne hue hai …!!

*****

Agar aapka hamara yeh post Pati Patni Jokes in Hindi ne aapko kar diya hai hasne ko majbur to jarur share kariye apne dosto ke sath. aur comment karna na bhule… Thank you…
Majedar Tanatan Hindi Jokes Ke liye yaha click kare…

Latest Ha Ha Hi Hi Hindi Jokes

Newhindisms ka yeh post aapke liye lekar aaya hai Hindi Jokes ka khajana, Jise aap padkar ho jaonge lot pot, karte reh jaonge Ha Ha Hi Hi… Fir der kis baat ki suru karo apni hasi ko aur padte raho newhindisms.com. aur haa dosto aap Latest Ha Ha Hi Hi Hindi Jokes post ko apne friends ko whatsapp, facebook par bhi share kar sakte ho, wo kehte hai na “Haste raho aur hasate raho…”

English teacher (Madam) : Bachchon hum angreji ke kuch shabdon ko chota karke bolte hain, jaise daddy ko dad mummy ko mom etc.

Ek ladka : To hum madam ko mad (pagal) kah sakte hain.

***

Patni (Pati se) : Tum mera naam mat liya karo munna bhi naam se pukarta hai.

Pati : To kya main tumhe mummy kahoon?

***

Jailor (Kaidi se) : Kyon bhai sabhi kaidiyon se unke rishtedar milne aate hain, par tumse milne koi kyon nahi aata?

Kaidi : Kya bataaon saahab, mere sabhi rishtedar isi jail me hain.

***

Maa (Bete se) : Jo bachche roj school jate hain, wo achche aadmi bante hain.

Beta : magar master ji mujhe roj murga bana dete hain.

***

Doctor (Ladke se) : Kiske liye chashma banwana chahte ho?

Ladka : Master ji ke liye, unhe main gadha dikhai deta hoon.

***

Maa (Rajesh se) : Beta ghar main kutta kese aa gaya?

Beta : Apne pairon se.

***

“Kyon janaab, aapne bhade ke rupaiye abhi tak nahi diye?” Makan malik nr kirayedar se kaha.

Kirayedar ne jawab diya – Ji, wahi to main aapko batane wala tha. Mujhe jo bhi rupaiye mil rahe hain. Sab kagaj ke hain. Jis din mujhe bhade ke milenge us din main de dunga.

***

Mohan (Sohan se) : Aaj mujhe 100 rupaiye udhar de to dost main jiwab bhar tumhara rini rahungaa.

Sohan : Nahin yaar main itne lambe samay ke liye tumhe rin nahi de sakta.

***

Ek yatri (Kisaan se) : Kyon bhai, yadi main tumhare khet se hokar jaoon to kya 7 baje wali gaadi pakad lungaa?

Kisaan : Bilkul pakad loge aur yadi mere kutte ne aapko khet se gujarte dekh liya to 7 baje wali kya aap 6 baje waali gaadi pakad sakte ho.

***

“Kisi ke sootali mein bandhe rupaiye to nahin gire hain? Ek aadmi ne baajar me khade hokar pucha.”

“Mere gire hain.” Ek saath kai log bole. Mujhe to sirf sootali mili hain- Aadmi ne jawaab diya.

***

Ek dost ne dusre dost se kaha: Yaar tumne musibat ke samay mera saath nahi diya.

Dost : wo kese?

Pahla dost : Meri shaadi mein tum shaamil nahi huwe.

***

Mehmaan : Aakhir baat kya haimain jab bhi khana khata hoon to aapka kutta mujhe goorne lagta hai.

Ghar wala : Kyonki kutta apni plate pahchaanta hai.

***

Ek saheli ne dusri saheli se kaha : Tumhare kamre ki makkhiyaan bahot tang kar rahi hai. Bar bar udati hoon, fir bhi mere upar aa baithti hain.

Dusri saheli boli : in makkhiyon ki aadat hi aesi hai, jahaan gandagi dekhi, wahaan jhat baith gayi.

***

Gopal (sanju se) : Yaar, aaj na jaane kyon chidiya ghar dekhne ka mann kar raha hai.

Sanju : Kyon nahi kabhi kabhi bhai behnon ki yaad aa hi jaati hogi.

***

Pandit ji ne hawan karte samay chote bachche ko laddu dete huwe kaha : ise agni me dal kar kaho – swaah.

Bachcha : Usemuh me dalkar kahta hai – “aaha”.

***

Ek dost ne dusre dost se kaha yaar mujhe jaldi ghar jaane de meri patni bhookhi hogi.

Dusra dost: Waah! Tujhe kitni achchi patni mili jo khane par tera intzaar karti hai.

pahla dost : Intzaar! Kya khaak karti hai. Khana to ghar jaakar main hi banata hoon.

***

Patni (Pati se) : Is ghar ki deewar itni patli hai ki padosi hamari poori baatein sun lete hain.

Pati : Thik hai, hum apni taraf ki deewar par moti plaster karwa lenge.

Patni : Fir main unki baatein kese sunungi.

***

Beta : Pitaji ek aadmi ek se adhik shaadi kyon nahi karte hain?

Pitaji : Bade hokar samajh jaoge ki jo apni raksha khud nahi kar sakta unhe kanoon bachata hai.

***

Dopahar me ek icecream wala jor jor se chilla raha tha – khoon! Khoon! Khoon! Ek aadmi ne pucha khoon, khoon, khoon kyon chilla rahe ho?

Icecream wala bola – Is dopahar me agar main icecream- icecream chillaunga to kon ghar se bahar niklega.

***

Pita (teacher se) : Mera ladka itihaas me kaisa hai? Main jab school me tha, is Vishay me bahot kamjor tha.

Teacher : Main to yahi kahunga ki itihaas apne aap ko dohra raha hai.

***

Sanjay: Madan, tum baat karte samay munh me chini kyon rakh lete ho?

Madan : Kyonki guruji ne hamesha meetha bolne ke liye kaha hai.

***

Ek seth ji car mein ja rahe the. Achaanak unhe dhakka laga, unhone driver se pucha.

Driver: Sethji! Ek patthar samne aa gaya tha.

Seth: Bahot bewakoof ho, tumne horn nahi bajaya.

***

Judge (Abhiyukt se) : Tumne amuk aadmi ko pani mein jahar milakar kyon diya?

Abhiyukt : Huzoor, usi ne mujhse kaha tha aesa pani pilaao ki main thanda ho jaoon.

***

Bhikhari : Are fakir aaj tu yahaan station par kese bheekh maang raha hai. Kal tak to tu nandini road par bheekh mang raha tha.

Fakir: Kya bataoon yaar, nandini road wali jagah mujhe apne damad ko dahej mein deni padi.

***

Kirayedar: Aap to kahte the ki yah mohalla saaf-suthara hai, Yahaan koi bimar nahi padta! Magar yah mariyal sa aadmi kon hai?

Makan malik: Is mohalle ka doctor.

***

Ques: Chalti bus se kab utarna chahiye?

Ans: Jab hospital najdeek ho.

***

Manager: Jab tumne meri patni se kaha – Ki mujhe aaj office mein kaam hai aur bahor raat gaye ghar lotunga, to usne kya jawaab diya?

Steno: Usne kaha” To main nischint ho jaaon na?”

***

“Pandit Ji, kya ye thik hai ki koi aadmi kisi ki galti ka fayda uthaye?” “Nahin bilkul nahin” Pandit bola.

To fir aap wo rupaiye wapis de dijiye jo maine aapko shaadi krwate samay diye the.

***

Teacher: Bachchon dhyan lagakar padho.

Ek student: Guruji main to chashma laga kar padh raha hoon. Dhyan laga kar kese padhoon.

***

Teacher: Bachchon, bina daant wale do jaanwaro ke naam bataao.

Student: Sir, dada aur daadi.

***

Sohan: Sheeba, tumne mera bat dekha hai?

Sheeba: Haa

Sohan : Kahaan hai?

Sheeba : Mummy tumhare bat se kapdo ke chakke chudaa rahi hai.

***

Class me teacher ne student se kaha: Aap sabhi shanti ke saath baith jaiyr.

Sunkar students ne kaha : Guruji aa to shaanti nahi aai hai isliye neelu ke saath baith jaaye kya?

***

Ek aadmi : Tumhe bheekh maangte sharam aani chahiye. Chalo mere ghar kaam karna main tumhe paanch rupaiya roj dunga.

Bhikhari : Sirf paanch rupaiya, tu mere saath baith jaao, main tumhe dus rupaiye roj dungaa.

***

Bhikhari : De, de bhai, bhagwaan ke naam par de de.

Mahila : Sharam nahi aati, chorahe par bheekh maang rahe ho.

Bhikhari : To kya bheekh maangne ke liye daftar khol loon.

***

Teacher : Heera aur Moti me kya antar hai?

Student: Ji Heera mera naukar aur Moti mera kutta hai.

***

Teacher : Pajama kon sa vachan hai?

Student : Upar se ekvachan niche se bahuvachan.

***

Rogi : Doctor saahab, main aapka aabhari hoon, kabhi mere layak koi sewa ho to awashya hi sewa karne ka mauka de.

Doctor : Aap kya kaam karte hai?

Rogi : Kabra khodne ka.

***

Teacher : Mera khayal hai kit um mere period mein baat kar rahe the.

Student : Nahi sir! Main sote huwe baatein kar hi nahi sakta.

***

Rakeshaur sanjay aapas me lad rahe the.

Rakesh : Ye suraj hai.

Sanjay : Nahin ye chaand hai. (Wahin ek raahgir ko rok kar puchte hain)

Raahgir : Mujhe kya maalum bhai. Main yahan pardesi hoon.

***

Ek kanjoos ek din jungle se gujar raha tha ki achaanak uske paanv mein kaanta chubh gaya. Wah dard bhare swar me karaah kar bola – Ohh! shukra hai aaj naye jute pahan kar nahi aaya warna jute me ched ho jaata.

***

Doctor : Khoosh ho jaao tumhare ladke ko famous neta ki aankhein laga di hain.

Aadmi : Tabhi ti uski nazar meri kursi par padi rahti hai.

***

Ramu (Apni Maa se) : Aaj ke bad mehandi mat lagana nahin to police pakad kar le jayegi.

Maa : Police kyon le jayegi?

Raamu : aaj ke akhbaar me likha hai. Police apraadhi ko range haath pakadna chahti hai.

***

Karmachaari : Saahab is baar 50 rupaiye kam kyon?

Cashier : Pahli bar galti se 50 rupaiye jyada de diye the.

Karmachaari : Pahli galti to maaf ki ja sakti hai. Dusri galti main bardashta nahi kar sakta.

***

Father ( Bete se ) : Beta, koi aesa kaam karo jisse tumhara naam dunia ke charo kono me faile.

Beta : Ji aesa kabhi nahi ho sakta.

Father : Kyon?

Beta : Kyonki duniya gol hai.

***

Neta (Secretary Se ) : Main bhashano mein jantaa se jo jo vaayade karoon tum use jhat note kar lena.

Secretary : Ji

Neta : Kyonko chune jaane ke bad mein bhul jaana chahta hoon.

***

Chaprasi : Huzoor, raddi ke tokre mein 100 100nke do note mile hai.

Cashier : Maine hi use pheka thaw o asli nahi hai.

Chaprasi : Isiliye to wapis kar raha hoon.

***

Rekha ganit ke teacher ne pucha : Rekha aur Bindu me kya antar hai?

Jawab mila : Rekha nayika hai aur Bindu Khalnayika.

***

Muwakkil (Vakil se) : Agar aap mera mukadma jeet gaye to main scooter doonga.

Vakil : Lekin tumhare upar mukadma kya hai?

Muwakkil : Ji! Scooter chori ka.

***

Patni : Doctor saahab mere pati raat mein badbadate hain. Koi upay batiye ki unka badbadana band ho jaye.

Doctor : Us rog ko door karne ka kewal ek hi tarika hai.

Patni : Wo kya hai?

Doctor : Aap inhe din mein bolne ka moka dijiye.

***

Bahot der tak dukaan ke chakkar lagane ke bad grahak ne kuch nahi liya to dukandar ne pucha – aakhir aapko chahiyekya?

“Mauka” grahak ne kaha.

***

Papa : Raju ne itihaas ka paper kesa diya?

Mummy : Bilkul kharab! Lekin us bechare ka kya dosh hai? Sawal hi purani baton ke bare me tha, tab wah paida bhi nahi huwa tha.

***

Malik (Naukar se) : Tumne letter box me khat daal diya?

Nauar : Nahin huzoor.

Malik : Kyon nahi dala?

Naukar : Kaise dalta? Har letter box par taala laga tha.

***

Teacher (Sohan se) : Tumne abhi tak diniya ka naksha kyon nahi kharida?

Sohan : Pita ji kahte hai duniya teji se badal rahi hai. Mene soch ajab isthir ho jayegi tabhi kharidunga.

***

Chunnu : Kya tumhare sachnuch bahot paise wale hain?

Munnu : Haan pucho mat! Unka eke k daant sone ka hai.

Chunnu : Tab to we apna sir tojori mein rakh kar sote honge.

***

Vikas : Kai baar kutte malik se jyada samajdar hote hain.

Prakash : Haan tumhare kutte ko dekhkar to yahi kaha ja sakta hai.

***

Doctor ( Rogi Se ) : kao tumhe kya bimari hai?

Rogi : Doctor saahab mujhe khana khan eke baad bhukh nahi lagti.

***

Do log aapas mein baat kar rahe the.

Pahala : Kya tum bata sakte ho bewakoof se bhi bada bewakoof kon hota hai?

Dusra : Wahi jo bewakoof se behas kare.

***

Teacher (Student se) : Bataao aadmi aur gadhe me kya antar hai?

Student : Yahi ki aadmi ko gadha kaha ja sakta hai par gadhe ko aadmi nahin.

***

Pita : Beta murgi ko garam pani se kyon nahla rahe ho>

Beta : Isliye ki murgi hamein ubla anda de.

***

Shyamu: Tum kal bageeche mein bane sher ke munh me sir fasa kar kyon latke huwe the?

Raamu : Saahsi banne ki practice kar raha tha.

***

Beta : Maa, mujhe das paisede do, kal school late ( deri ) gaya tha.

Maa : Tu school jata hai ya letne jata hai.

***

Padosan : Maine kaha kya kar rahi ho bahan?

Dusri padosan : Jhaadu laga rahi hoon.

Padosan : Yahin aakar lagaa lo na, kuch gup-shup bhi ho jayegi.

***

Ek neta ne dusre neta se kaha : Aree tumhara mickey fail ho gaya , aur tum mithai baant rahe ho?

Pahla neta : Fail paas kya mayne rakhta hai, bahumat to iske saath hai. 40 bachchon ke class mein bharti sab bachche iske saath fail huwe hai.

***

Patni ne pati se kaha – sunoji jab aap angreji sharaab piker aate ho to mujhe ‘pari’ kahte ho aur jab desi

sharaab piker aate ho to mujhe rani kahkar bulate ho. Bas itna bata do aaj konsi sharaab piker aaye ho jo

mujhe ‘chudel’ kah kar bula rahe ho.

***

Customer : Kya aap paasport size me mera aesa photo khinch sakte hai, jisme mera sir aur joote dono nazar aaye?

Photographer : Kyon nahin kyon nahin! Aap apne joote sir par rakh kar baith jaiye.

***

Pita : Beta, aaj school me shaitaani to nahin ki?

Beta : Pita ji, aaj to main shanty se bench par khada raha.

***

Teacher : Prachin lanka ko sone ki lanka kyon kaha jata tha?

Student : Isliye kaha jata tha kyonki kumbhkaran din raat sota tha.

***

Dukaandar (Naukar se): Grahak jo bhi kahe use sahi maan lena chahiye, usse bahas nahi karni chahiye. Wese tumhare sath wo jhagda kyon kar raha tha?

Naukar : Wok ah raha tha, “Tumhara malik chor hai.”

***

Pita : Bete ko ginti sikha raha tha, Ikaai ke bad dahaai, sekda, hazar, lakh, crore aur arab aata hai, arab ke bad kya aata hai?

Beta : Ji, Arab ke bad Iran aata hai.

***

Ek aadmi ne dusre aadmi se railway station par pucha : Sir, puchtaach karyalay kidhar hai?

Dusre ne jawab diya : Enquiry office se pata kijiye.

***

Teacher (Student se) : Sabse jyada ande dene wale prani ka naam batao?

Student : Ji, Examiner.

***

Ek chor ko chori ke jurm me jeep par betha kar jail le jaya ja raha tha. Wah bahot khush tha. Sipahi ne pucha tum itne khush kyon ho?

Chor ne kaha : Aaj main pahli bar jeep par betha hoon.

***

Adhikari (Majdoor se ) : Sabhi majdoor do do boriyan lad kar le ja rahe hain aur tum ho ki ek le kar ja rahe ho.

Majdoor ( Adhikari se ) : Shri maan we sab aalsi hain, tabhi to do chakkar lagane se gabrate hain.

***

Beta ( maa se ) : Maa, kya peela rang mehanga milta hai?

Maa : Nahin to!

Beta : Magar pados wali aunty to kah rahi thi ki beti ke haath pile karne mein laakh rupaiye lagenge.

***

Judge (Chor se) : Tumne sunar ki dukaan se gahne kyon churaye?

Chor : Judge saahab, dukaan ke bahar likha tha “ Sunahre moke ka labh uthaye.”

***

Teacher (Student se) : Tumhara naam kya hai?

Student : Roop Prakash

Teacher : Angreji me jawab do.

Student : Sir, My name is face light.

***

Employee (Boss se ) : Meri salary badha dijiye sir, ab meri shadi ho gayi hai.

Boss : Karkhane ke bahar hone wali durgatnao ke liye hum jimmedar nahin hai.

***

Maa : Bete tu ye kesi machis laya hai. Ism eek bhi tili nahin hai?

Beta : Maa aapne hi to kaha tha ki machis dekhkar lana, tiliyan sili hui mat lana. So maine machis ki sari tiliyaan jalakar dekh li.

*****

Agar aapka hamara yeh post Latest Ha Ha Hi Hi Hindi Jokes ne aapko kar diya hai hasne ko majbur to jarur share kariye apne dosto ke sath. aur comment karna na bhule… Thank you…
Majedar Tanatan Hindi Jokes Ke liye yaha click kare…

Majedar Tanatan Hindi Jokes

NewHindiSMS Aapke liye laya hai Majedar tanatan hindi jokes aur SMS ka khajana, jise padkar aap ho jaonge lot pot, Fir intzar kis baat ka… Haste raho hasate raho aur padte raho NewHindiSMS.com

Kavi sammelan mein ek kavi mahashay apni kavita suna rahe the aur stage ke neeche ek saahab apne haath mein danda liye teji se tehal rahe the, aakhir kavi mahashay se na raha gaya aur wo bol uthe – ‘Bas janab! Yah antim pankti sunakar baith raha hun.’

Wah saahab turant bole: ‘Nahi saahab aap to humarae mehmaan hain, aap to apni kavita shok se sunaiye, main to us insaan ko dhoondh raha hoon jisne aapko yahan bulaya hai.’

***

Tum apni maang mein hare rang ka sindoor kyun lagati ho, vivahit istriyaan to apni maang lal sindoor se bharti hai?’

Mere pati railway me engiene driver hai, jab main lal sindoor lagati hoon to wo mujhe dekh kar ruk jaate hai. Isliye main hara sindoor lagati hoon taki wo muje dekh kar aage badh jaye.

***

Ek saahab cycle pr jaa rahe the, cycle ke piche unka bachha bahot jor se ro raha tha. Usko rota dekhkar ek rahgir ne un saahab se pucha – ‘kamaal hai aapka bachha ro raha hai aap bedhadak chale ja rahe hai.’

cycle sawar ne kaha: ‘ bachhe ko jabardasti rulaya gaya hai kyunki cycle mein ganti nahi hai.’

***

Ek lamba tagda bahot hi mota vyakti darji ki dukan par pahoncha. Darji ne badi kathinai se naap lekar hanfate hue kaha- janaab is sherbani (aachkan) ki silaai ke 100 rupaiye honge.
Parantu tumne to telephone par 50 rapaiye bataye the.
Darji ne pasina ponchte hue kaha: Ji haan bataye the to sherbani ke bataye the shamiyane ke nahin.

***

Sangeet ke guru ne apne shishya se pucha: tum kis ‘Taal’ ke Vishay me adhik jante ho?

Shishya ne turant kaha: Hadtaal ke Vishay mein.

***

Dinesh: Itni teji se kahan jaa rahe ho?

Ramesh: Police station! Mere ghar mein chor gus aaya hai.

Dinesh: Biwi ko akela chod diya?

Ramesh: Nahin, usne chor ko baahon mein jakad rakha hai.

***

Ek vyakti kuch der se ye dekh raha tha ki uski bagal me baitha hua aadmi kuch kah raha hai. Thodi der baad usne use sambodhit karte hue kaha – Shrimaan aap bahot der se mujhse baatein kiye jaa rahe hai, main behra hoon! Jara jor se boliye, taki aapki baatein sun sakoon.

Dusre aadmi ne uttar diya – Shrimaan main aapse kuch nahi keh raha hoon balki chewngum chaba raha hoon.

***

Bas stop par yaatriyon se bhari hui bas ruki to ek police adhikari sawar hua – ek sipahi jo pahle hi yatra kar raha tha, apni seat se uth khada hua.
Use uthte dekhkar police adhikari ne kaha – nahin, nahin tum baithe raho.
Sipahi apni seat par baith gaya. Dusre stop par fir apni jagah se utha lekin adhikari ke kahne par fir baith gaya jab teesra stop aaya to sipahi ne jese hi uthna chaha, adhikari ne dekhte hue kaha –‘ Nahin bhai tum baithe raho.’

Sipahi: Maaf kijiye sir, aapki wajah se main do stop aage nikal aaya hu, mujhe to piche hi utarna tha.

***

Sekhuddhin ki patni Razia apne mata pita ke ghar se sasural aa rahi thi. Train rukte hi Sekhuddhin dibbe me gusa, saara samaan kuli ko saunpaa aur bahar nikalne ki taiyari karne laga. Razia ko yah thanda swagat pasand nahi aaya.

Razia (chidhkar): Jara hans kar mujhe receive kar lete to kya ho jaata? Jara samne wali aurat ki taraf dekhiyeuska miyaan kese has has kar baatein kar raha hai?

Wah apni biwi ko chodne aaya hai, lene ke liye nahin. Sekhuddhin ne thandi saans lekar kaha.

***

Ek saahab ne judge se apni patni ko talaak dene ka kaaran batate hue kaha: ‘Meri patni ne shaadi ke baad se ab tak kewal ek ladki ko janam diya hai. Jabki meri prabal iccha thi ki main ek ladke ka baap banoon.

Patni ne turant uttar diya: ‘Yadi main tumhare bharose par rehti to shayad ek ladki ke baap bhi nahi ban paate.’

***

Ek darshanik ke saath ek sham mania gayi. Sabha ke aakhir me unko bataya gaya ki log unse kuch prashna karna chahte hain, unhone kaha ki log kagaj par likh kar mujhe prashna bheje, main mike par uttar deta hoon. Kai prashnon ke bad ek parchi unke haath me aayi jis par kewal ek shabda likha tha – ‘Gadha!’

Darshanik thodi der hairan rah gaye, fir samajh gaye mamla kya hai, bole – ‘Ab mere paas ek aesa kagaj aaya hai jisme kisi saahab ne apna naam to likh diya hai parantu prashna likhna bhool gaye hain.’

***

Family planning ke doctor ne gaanv ke logo ko jama kiya aur apne bhashan ke bich kaha: ‘Bharat me har 3 minute baad ek aurat bachhe ko janma deti hai aap hi bataiye is bhayanak paristithi par kis prakar niyantran kiya ja sakta hai?’

Bheed me se ek aawaj aai: ‘Pahle us aurat ki talaash karna chahiye.’

***

‘Kya yah sahi hai har vyakti ko marna hai?’ ‘Haan!’

‘Main sochta hoon jo vyakti sabse aakhir me marega use shamshaan kon le jayaega?’

***

Ek baap ne apne nalayak ladke ko daantte hue kaha ki paani sir se uuncha hota jaa raha hai. Us samay unki biwi jo bathroom me tub me naha rahi thi kehne lagi – ‘Darling tum kahan se dekh rahe ho?

Darwaja to band hai.’

***

Beta: ‘Ammi hamein eid ke rupiye chahiye.’

Mummy: ‘Kyun, eid me to bahot din baki hai, kisne kaha ki aaj eid hai?’

Beta: ‘Nahin mummy, aap galat kehti hain, eid to aaj hi hai. Abhi maine dekha papa baju wali aunti se gale mil rahe the.’

***

Jab tumhe naukri par rakha gaya tha, tab tumne kaha tha kit um kabhi nahin thakte aur abhi abhi tum mej par taange pasare so rahe the.

Mere na thakne ka yahi to raaj hai.

***

Sadak par ek aadmi behosh hokar gir gaya, to charo aur bheed lag gayi. Ek saahab chillaye, aree iske munh mein DC-Brandi daal do.

Unhone do teen baar apni baat dohraai, kintu shorgul mein wah baat dab gayi. Thodi der bad behosh hokar girne wala aadmi utha aur yah kah kar fir gir gaya.

Aree koi uski baat bhi sono jo brandi pilane ko kah raha hai.

***

Aakhiri saans lete huye pati ne patni se kaha: Mere marne ke baad tum Amit se shaadi kar lena.

Amit se! Patni ne aascharya se kaha, lekin tum to uske jaani dushman ho.

Pati ne kaha, haan main usse badla lena chahta hoon.

***

Ek shikshak mahoday bahot adhik bhullakad the. Apni ghadi sada baayin jeb me rakhte the. Ek bar bhool se daayin jeb me rakh li aur jab samay dekhne ke liye baayin jeb me hath dala to ghadi nadarad. Unhone ek vidhyarthi se kaha: ‘ Jaao ghar se meri ghdai le aao.’

Fir dayin jeb me hath daal kar ghadi nikali aur kahne lage, abhi 10-20 hue hain 10-40 tak laut aana.

***

Bus main bahot bheed thi. Ek yari ne bhitar gustehue kaha: Uff! Lagta hai bus main jaanwar bhare hain.

Paas hi baithe ek sajjan tapaak se bole: haan saahab sabhi tarah ke jaanwar yahan hai, bas ek gadhe ki kami thi.

***

Jailar – ‘Aaj tumhe faansi di jayegi, bolo tumhari antim iccha kya hai?’

Apradhi – ‘ Meri iccha tarbooj khane ki hai’

Jailar – Abhi tarbooj ki fasal aane main bahot der hai.

Apradhi – Tab tak main intzaar kar lungaa.

***

Pati saari raat gayab rahne ke baad subah jab ghar pahonche to patni ne gusse se kaha,

‘Ab subah ke saat baje tum kisliye aaye ho?’

Pati ne jawab diya, ‘Nashta karne ke liye.

***

Sohan jor se apna vigyan ka paath padh raha tha, jab seb ped se niche gira to newton ko bahot aascharya huwa.

“Isme aascharya ki kya baat thi? Aascharya ki baat to tab hoti, jab seb niche se upar jaata.” Uski choti behan ne use beech mein hi tok kar kaha.

***

Naaku ki school bus ka driver teji se bus chala raha tha, is par naaku ne use toka: – Tum itni teji se bus mat chalao, mujhe darr lagta hai.

tum bhi waisa hi karoge jaisa main arta hoon to tumhe darr nahin lagega. Mod aane par apni aankhein band kar leta hoon. Driver ne naaku ko samjhaya.

***

Ek doctor ne rogi se pucha: kyun kya taklif hai tumhe?

Rogi bola: Doctor saahab, mujhe saans lene me badi dikkat hoti hai.

“Koi chinta ki baat nahin, hum use bilkul rok denge.” Doctor ne tasalli dete hue kaha.

***

Agar din mein surya na nikle to kya hoga? Kisi ne sawal kiya.

”ji, bijli ka kharch badh jayega. Dusre ne jawaab diya.

***

Marij ka nirikshan karte samay doctor ne pucha aap kya peete hain- chaay, coffee, sigrate, sharaab?

“Aap bekaar takalluf kar rahe hain. Main khaa pii kar chala hoon.” Marij ne kaha.

***

Ek pandit ji ke ghar ke smane gadha mara pada tha. Unhone iski khabar nigam ke safai vibhag ko telephone par di.

Karmchari ne majaak mein kaha – Pandit ji, us gadhe ka kriya karm aapko hi karna padega.

Pandit ji – Haan bhai, par gadhe ke sage sambandiyon ko khabar karna bhi mera farz hai.

***

Do gappe baaj hank rahe the.

Pahla: Wah dekho ek Amerikan chaand par utar raha hai.

Dusra: Kya khaak dekhoon, chashma to main chaand par hi chod aaya hoon.

***

Ek darji grahako ke kapde lekar bhaag gaya.

Ek graahak: Aree wah meri patloon le bhaaga.

Dusra: Haay! Wah meri to shart le gaya.

Teesra: Aree janaab, Wah meri naap hi le gaya. Ab main kapde kaise silwaoonga?

***

Seth Ji: Mahatma ji, mujh paapi ko bhi koi achchaa sa updesh dijiye taki mera jivan bhi safal ho jaye.

Mahatma: Tum apne saare karj chuka do.

Seth Ji: Yah baat thik nahi hai. Mahatma ji aap dharm mein dhandhe ki baat na milaiye.

***

Ek kanjoos vyakti apni car lekar gairage mein gaya aur mechanic se bola is gaadi ka horn thik kar do, break kharab hai.

***

Karnal: yah murga kahan se laaye?

Sainik: Ji, churakar saahab.

Karnal: Apne mitra se, Dekha mere jawan chori kar sakte hain par jooth nahi bol sakte.

***

Pheriwala: Chaaku Chooriyan tej kara lo.

Mahila: Kyonji, akal bhi tej karte ho?

Pheriwala : Haan behan ji, agar aapke paas ho to…?

***

Naaku: Main B. A. paas kar loon to tumse shaadi karoonga.

Sangeeta: Tab to mujhe jiwan bhar kunwari hi rahna padega.

***

Judge: Kya tumhara koi gawah hai?

Apradhi: Huzur! Mera gawah to ishwar hai.

Judge: Use katghare me pesh kiya jaye.

***

Judge: Agar tum jooth bologe to kahaan jaoge?

Apradhi: Ji narak mein.

Judge: Agar tum sach bologe to

Apradhi: Ji, Jail mein.

***

Bunty: Papa dharati se sooraj ke beech kitni doori hai?

Papa: Mujhe pata nahin.

Bunty (Gusse se): Aapke agyaan ke kaaran kal mujhe kam aank mile to naraj mat hona.

***

Ek aadmi ne apni umar ka byora dete hue akhbaar mein vigyaapan diya – patni chahiye. Jawab

mein uske paas 200 se adhik purushon ke patra aaye. Unhone likha tha – meri le jaaye.

***

Kutte ka Malik- Saahab yah kutta laakho mein ek hai.

Grahak: Kon jaane ye wafadaar hoga bhi ya nahin?

Kutte ka Malik: Iski wafadaari kya puchte hain aap. Ab tak bees baar bech chukka hoon. Har baar wapis aa jata hai.

***

Pita (Bete se) : Pata hai jab Jawahar Lal Nehru tumhari umar ke the to class ke monitor the.

Beta : Aur jab wah aapki umar ke the to bharat ke pradhanmantri the.

***

Pati (Apni saans se): Aapne to kaha tha ki aapki ladki shakahari hai.

Saans: Pakki shakahari hai beta.

Pati: Ghar par to do-do ghate tak mera dimag khati rahti hai fir shakahari kahan hui?

***

Daaku (Seth se): Bolo seth jaan dete ho ya maal?

Seth: Bhai jaan hi le lo, maal to budhape mein kaam aayega.

***

Daanton ka doctor : Tum pahle kya sunna chahoge, achchi khabar ya buri khabar?

Marij : Achchi khabar.

Doctor : Tumhare daant bilkul theek hai.

Marij : To fir buri khabar kya hai?

Doctor : Tumhare masude itne kharab ho chuke hain ki mujhe saare daant nikalne padenge.

***

Teacher : Naaku, aaj tumne konsa achcha kaam kiya.

Naaku: Sir, aaj maine aur chaar anya ladko ne milkar ek budhiya ko sadak paar karwayi.

Teacher: Shaabaash! Par paanch ladko ki jarurat kyun padi?

Naaku : kyunki wah budhiya sadak ke paar jaana hi nahi chahti thi.

***

Mohan (Sohan se) : Kal mere dada ji pani mein dubki laga kar teen ghante tak andar rahe.

Sohan : Bas! Mere dada ji ne teen saal pahle lagaai thi aura b tak bahar nahin nikle.

***

Malik (Naukrani se) : Teri do aankhein hai, chawal ke kankad theek se nahin chun sakti?

Naukrani (Malik se) : Aapke bhi to pure battis daant hain, ekadh kankad nahin chaba sakte.

***

Kya khana banaya hai tumne, sabji kachchi banai hai aur roti jail hui hai. Pati ne shikayat ki to

patni ne ulahana diya – shadi se pahle tum swayam kahte the ki Prem…………………….! “Andha hota hai,

par itna to nahin ki kachcha, jala bhi na dikhe pati ne baat puri ki.

***

Mummy (Shyam se) : Tum ro kyun rahe ho?

Shyam : Mere master ji bahot bimar the, wah…..

Mummy : Kya wo mar gaye?

Shyam : Nahin, wo theek ho gaye hain, kal se school aane wale hain.

***

Aapne jab almari mein rakha sara samaan bikhra huwa dekha to aapko chori ka sandeh kyun nahi hua? Aapne report likhane mein itni der kyun ki? Thanedar ne ek mahila se pucha.

“Waastav me main yah samjhi thi ki mera pati apni tie dhoondh raha hoga.”

***

Nav Vivahit Pati : Tum itni achchi rotiyan nahi bana sakti, jitni achchi meri maan banaati thi.

Nav Vivahita : Aur tum bhi itna achcha aata nahin goonth sakte, jitna achcha merepita ghoonthte the.

***

Bhabhi: Naaku, aajkal tum kisme ho?

Naaku : Ji, abhi main B.S.C. main hoon.

Bhabhi : Jooth bolte ho, pichale saal to tumne kaha tha ki daswi me ho.

Naaku : Main abhi “Bata shoe company” me hoon.

***

Doctor (Marij se) : Kaho, ab tabiyat kesi hai?

Marij : Ab kuch aaram hai bukhar to toot gaya bas taang me dard hai.

Doctor : Ghabrao mat taang bhi toot jayegi.

***

Rajnitigya (Apni patni se) : Main chunaav haar gaya.

Patni : Bahot bura huwa.

Raajnitigya : Aree achchaa huwa jo main chunaav haar gaya warna muhe to yaad hi nahi raha ki maine

kis kis se kya kya vaayde kiye the.

***

Doctor (5 saal ke bachche se) : Bete yah din me char chammach roj lena.

Bachcha : Lekin doctor uncle, mere ghar to sirf do chammach hai.

***

Maa (Suresh se) : Beta jab dakaar aaye to khan band kar dena chahiye.

Suresh : Maa, agar dakaar nahi aaye to khate rahna chahiye.

***

Ek neta se uski patni ne kaha – Aap log ped lagane par itna jor kyun dete hai? “Jor kyun na doon?

Neta ji ne muskurakar kaha jis ko paane ke liye itni daud dhoop karni padti hai wah ped ki lakdi se hi to banti hai.

***

Patni ne Pati se kaha : Tumhare bina main shopping ke liye nahi jaane wali. Kya itna achcha lagta hai mere saath?

Pati ne khush hokar kaha. “Achchaa wachchaa nahin, yah das kilo ki tokri kon uthayega – Patni boli.

***

Bus bahot der se stand me hi khadi thi. Ek yatri ne tang aakar driver se kaha kyun bhai! Ye khatara kab chalegi?

Driver : Jab kachara bhar jayega.

***

Saloon mein ek mitra : Vakil saahab court me to aap achche achchon ki bolti band kar dete hain, magar nai ki har baat me haan me haan milate jaa rahe ho, aesa kyon?

Vakil : Bhala aese aadmi se vyarth bahas kyon karun jiske kainchi or ustare ke bich mera sir ho.

***

Ek Gappi ( Dusre Gappi se) : Aree tumne suna nahin ek mahila aakash me ud rahe vaayuyaan se niche gir

Dusra Gappi : Haan Haan dhamaake ki aawaaj to mene bhi suni hai.

***

Adhyapak kaksha me chaatron ko padha rahe the, tabhi kisi shararati chaatra ne siti baja di.

Adhyapak ne kadak kar pucha – Kaksha me siti bajane ki himmat kisne ki, Ramesh kahin tumne to nahi bajai.

Ramesh (hadbadakar) Ji- Ji-Nahin sir, main to so raha tha.

***

Grahak (Waitor se) : Ek toast aur laao.

Waitor : Aur kuch janaab.

Grahak : Haan, ek paper weight bhi, kyunki pahla toast to hawa me kahin ud gaya hai.

***

Pati ne Patni ko ek akhbaar me prakashit sachitra samachaar dikhaate huwe kaha “Ye pura parivaar kaanch khane wala hai.”

Patni boli : tumse to thik hai, tum to dinbhar dimaag khate rahte ho.

***

Ram : Kya tumhe pata hai mera kutta das tak ginti jaanta hai.

Shyam : Haan maalum hai.

Ram : Tumhe ye kisne bataya?

Shyam : mere kutte ne.

***

Itihaas ka teacher: bachchon! Jhansi ki rani Lakshmi Bai marte dum tak angrejon se loha leti rahi.

Mohan : Sir, Kya angrej loha bechte the?

***

Pita: Beta, sabse jyada tum kis jaanwar se darte ho?

Beta ji! Bhaalu se aur papa aap?

Pita : Tumhari mummy se beta.

***

Adaalat me sarkari vakil ne kaha : Mi Laurd, apraadhi par ilzaam hai ki usne apni patni ko chidiya ghar ke gahre talaab me dhakel diya, jiski wajah se patni ko magarmachcha kha gaya.

Judge : Kya apraadhi ye baat nahi jaanta tha ki chidiya ghar me jaanwar ko kuch khilane ki manaahi hai.

***

‘Tum sweekar karte ho ki tumne apni biwi ko peeta’ Judge ne pucha.

“Ji hujoor! “ Abhiyukt bola.

“Thik hai tum par das rupaiye das aane ka jurmana kiya jaata hai”

“Hujoor, das rupaiye to samajh me aaye lekin das aane kis baat ke hai?”

“Wah manoranjan kar hai.” Judge bola.

***

Banwari ji ne apne dost ki nav vivahita patni ko dekhkar use ek aur le jakar hairani se bola – “Yaar tune bahot hi chote kad ki ladki se shaadi ki.”

Dost bola – “Banwari ji, musibat jitni choti ho, utni hi achchi hoti hai.”

***

Patni : Priye ye tayar kese panchar ho gaya?

Pati : Ek shishi par chadh gaya tha.

Patni : Kya tumhe shishi nahi dikhai di?

Pati : Nahin wo to us aadmi ki jeb mein thi, jo meri car ke niche aa gaya tha.

***

Amita : Pata nahiis bar sadiyon ke kon konse naye design niklenge?

Ajit : Wahi do, ek jo tumhe pasand nahi aayega aur dusra jise kharidane ke liye mere paas rupaiye nahi honge.

***

Agar aapka hamara yeh post Majedar tanatan hindi jokes pasand aaye to jarur comment karen aur ise apne dosto ke sath jarur share karen.

Sadabahar Bindaas Hindi SMS & Shayari

एक बार फिर NewHindiSMS आपके लिए लाया है SMS & Shayari का खजाना, जिसमे आप पाएंगे ढेर सारे Sadabahar Bindaas Hindi SMS & Shayari, जिन्हे आप अपने दोस्तों के साथ शेयर कर सकते है !

Har Phool Khboobsurat Nahi Hota…
Har Patthar Heera Nahi Hota…
Dost Dekhkar Karna Dosti…
Kyunki Har Dost Ham Sa Nahi Hota…!!

***

Haseen Tum To Kam Bhi Nahi…
Mahalo Me Tum To Sadkon Pe Hum Bhi Nahi…
Pyaar Karke Kehte Ho, Shadishuda Ho…
Kaan Khol Ke Sun Lo, Kunware Ham Bhi Nhi…!!

***

Har Kadam Pe Imtahaan Leti Hai Zindagi…
Har Waqt Naye Sadme Deti Hai Zindagi…
Par Ham Zindagi Se Shikwa Kese Karein…
Ki Tujsa Dost Bhi To Deti Hai Zindagi…!!

***

Logo Ko Aksar Kehte Suna Hai…
Ki Zinda Rahenge To Phir Milenge…
Magar Is Dil Ne Mahsoos  Kia Hai…
Ki Milte Rahoge To Zinda Rahenge…!!

***

Jis Tarha Heera Here Ko Kata Hai…
Sone Ko Sona Katta Hai…
Lohe Ko Loha Katta Hai…
Theek Usi Tarha Dekh Lena Ek Din…
Tumhe Kutta Katega…!!

***

Ehsaason Ko Pehchaan Naa Paaye…
Ishaaro Ko Samajh Na Paaye…
Humare Baato Ka Matlab…
Mohobbat Hai, Yeh Tum Jaan Nap Aye…!!

***

Hamaari Zuban Hi Sirf Ek Zaria Nahi…
Jo Aaap Alfaazo Ko Samajh Paayenge…
Kabhi Aankhon Mein Jhaank Kar Dekhiye…
Hazaro Alfaz Khud B Khud Bikhar Jayenge…!!

***

Ek Bar Pyaar Se Pukaar Ke To Dekh…
Dafan Hoon, Magar Kabra Se Bhi Uth Jaaunga…!!

***

Rab Se Aapki Khushi Maangte Hain…
Duaaaon  Main Bhi Aaapki Hansi Mangte Hain…
Sochte Hain Maange Aapse? Chalo Aapse…
Aapki Umarbhar Ka Saath Mangte Hain…!!

***

Dosti Hoti Hain Dile-Raaj Bataane Ke Liye…
Ham Apni Hansi Mita Dain Aapko Hansane Ke Liye…
Milne Ki To Aapko Fursat Nahin…
To Ham Sms Karte Hain Yaad Dilane Ke Liye…!!

***

Mana Ki Bhulna Hamari Aadat Hi Sahi…
Magar Aapko Bhool Jaana Hamare Bas Mai Nahin…
Dil Chahe To Aajma Ke Dekh Lo…
Ham Bhoolna Bhool Jaenge Par Aapko Nahin…!!

***

Dil Ke Dard Ko Zuba Per Late Nahi…
Ham Apni Aankhon Se Aansu Bahate Nahi…
Zakham Chahe Hi Gahre Kyo Na Ho…
Ham Dettol K Siva Kuch Lagaate Nahi…!!

***

Tere Gam Me Tadapke Mar Jayenge…
Mar Gaya To Tera Naam Le Jayenge…
Rab Ko Rishwat Deke Tujhe Bhi Upar Bulayenge…
Aur Upar Sath Baith Ke Panipuri Khayenge…!!

***

Yaad Karte Hai Tumhe Tanhai Me…
Dil Duba Hai Gamo Ki Gahrai Me…
Hume Mat Dhundo Dunia Ki Bhid Me…
Hum Milenge Tumhe Fir Kisi, Free Sms Ki Scheme Me…!!

***

Bhehar Ki Gali Main Paan Ki Dukan…
Devdas Ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskan…
Devdas Ne Khilaya Paro Ko Paan…
Khake Paan Paro Boli “Shukriya Bhai Jan” …!!

***

Kabhi Kehte The Dost Hamare Ke…
Jaan Bhi Mango To Hazir Hai…
Aaj Apni Bivi Ko Jaan Kehte Hai…
Aur Mango To Inkaar Karte Hain…!!

***

Jo Dil Mai Basakar To Dekho…
Chahat Ko Honthon  Pe Lakar To Dekho…
Sab Kuch Mil Jaega Usi Pal…
Lekin Mohobbat Ko Ek Baar Jatakar To Dekho…!!

***

Na Khwabo Me Dekha, Na Najaron Me Dekha…
Hazaro Me Ek Hamne Tum Hi Ko Dekha…
Gam Dene Wale To Har Pal Hai Yahan…
Har Pal Khushi Dene Walon Me Ek Aap Hi Ko Dekha…!!

***

Dosti To Sirf Ek Ittafaq Hai…
Ye Do Dilon Ki Mulakaat Hai…
Dosti Nahi Dekhti…
Ye Din Hai Ke Raat Hai…!!

***

Raaste The Anjaan Phir Bhi Ham Talaash Main Unki Nikal Pade…
Unki Aankhon Ki Kashish Main Hum Kheenche Chal Pade…
Maloom Chala Wo Kaun Si Hi Dagar Jispe Hum The Nikle…
Jab Usse Patane Ke Chakkar Mein Humein Joote Chappal Pade…!!

***

Alafaz Nahi Hai Paas Mere Gu-E-Ulfat Kaise Bayan Karun…
Aap Ne Ki Hai Mujhse Bewafayee Ye Jagzaahir Kaise Karun…
Humne To Aap Se Mohabbat Karke Khud Ko Hi Bhila Diya…
Tere Baad Haalat Kaise Hai Mere Ab Ye Zaahir Kaise Karoon…!!

***

Marne Pr Hume Swarg Mile Ya Na Mile…
Ye Hawa Ye Fizan Mile Ya Na Mile…
E Mere Dost Sms Karne Me Kasar Na Karna…
Kya Pata Narak Me Kawrej Mile Ya Na Mile…!!

***

Sms To Ek Bahana Hai…
Irada To Aapka Ek Lamha Churana Hai…
Aap Chahe Humse Baat Karo Na Karo…
Phir Bhi Aapki Yaadon Me Hamar Aana Jaan Hai…!!

***

Har Phool Khoobsurat Nahi Hota…
Har Patthar Chamak Dar Nahi Hota…
Dosti Dekhkar Karna Mere Dost…
Har Dost Dildaar Nahi Hota…!!

***

Haseeno Ne Haseen  Banke Gunah Kiya…
Auronko Theek, Humko Bhi Tabah Kiya…
Pesh Kiya Gazhlon Mein Jab Unki Bewafaiee Ko…
Auron Ne To Theek Unhone Bhi Wah Wah Kiya…!!

***

Sitaron Se Ho To Use Jannat Kehte Hain…
Husn Se Ho To Use Mohabbat Kehte Hain…
Aur Dosti Aapse Ho To Use Kismet Kehte Hain…!!

***

Sham Ke Baad Milti Hai Raat…
Har Baat Mein Samai Hui Hai Teri Yaad…
Bahut Tanha Hoti Hai Ye Zindagi…

Agar Nahi Milta Jo Aapka Saath…!!

***

Kaanton Ke Badle Phool Kya Doge…
Aansu Ke Badle Khushi Kya Doge…
Hum Chahte Hain Aapse Umar Bhar Dosti…
Hamare Is Sawal Ka Jawab Kya Doge…!!

***

Na Chaho Kisi Ko Itna Ki Uski…
Chahat Tumhari Majboori Ban Jaaye…
Chaho Kisi Ko Itan Ki…
Tumhara Pyaar Uski Jarurat Ban Jaye…!!

***

Kisi Ne Dil Ko Is Qadar Choo Liya…
Ke Hum Kisi Or Ko Na Choo Sake…
Hum To Chale The Dost Banane…
Aap To Dil Ki Dhadkan Ban Gaye…!!

***

Tuje Chahne Wale Kam Naa Honge…
Waqt Ke Saath Shahis Hum Naa Honge…
Chahe Kisi Ko Kitna Bhi Pyaar Dena…
Lekin Teri Yaadon Ke Haqdar Sirf Hum Honge…!!

***

Kaash Wo Nagme Sunaye Naa Hote…
Aaj Unko Sun Kar Ye Aansoo Aaye Naa Hote…
Agar Is Tarh Bhul Jaana Hi Tha…
To Itni Gahrai Se Dil Me Samaye Na Hote…!!

***

Sham Dhali, Raat Aayi, Dil Dhadka…
Fir Tumhari Yaad Aayi…
Aankhon Ne Mahsoos Kiya Us Hawa Ko…
Jo Tumhe Chookar Humare Paas Aayi…!!

***

Faasle Mita Kar Aapas Main Pyaar Rakhna…
Dosti Ka Ye Rishta Humesha Barkaraar Rakhna…
Bichad Jaye Kabhi Agar Aapse Hum…
Aankhon Main Humesha Humara Intzaar Rakhna…!!

***

Ehsaas Bohat Hoga Chor Ke Jaengay…
Roengay Bohat Magar Aansu Nahi Aaengay…
Jab Saath Na De Koi To Awaz Hamain Dena…
Aasman Per Bhi Hongay To Lout Ke Aaengay…!!

***

Har Karz Dosti Ka Ada Kon Karega…
Jab Hum Hi Na Rahe To Dosti Kon Karega…
E Khuda Mere Dosto Ko Salamat Rakhna…
Warna Mere Jeene Ki Dua Kon Karega…!!

***

Tum Mujhe Bhul Na Paoge…
Is Kadar Hum Tumhe Yaad Aaenge…
Yakeen Na Aaye To Aaine Main Dekhna…
Teri Aankhon Main Hum Nazar Aaenge…!!

***

Nazron Se Nazron Ka Takraav Hota Hain…
Ha Mod Pe Kisi Ka Intzaar Hota Hain…
Dil Rota Hai, Zakhm Hansta Hai…
Shayad Yahi Pyaar Hota Hai…!!

***

Agar Aansoo Na Hote Aankhon Me To Aankhen Itni Khoobsurat Na Hoti…
Agar Dard Na Hota Dil Me To Khushi Ki Keemat Pata Na Hoti…
Agar Bewafai Na Ki Hoti Waqt Ne, To Waqt Ki Kabhi Chahat Na Hoti…
Agar Mangne Se Puri Ho Jati Muradein To Us Khuda Ki Kabhi Jarurat Na Hoti…!!

***

Andhere Mein Rasta Chalna Mushkil Hota Hai…
Tej Hava Mein Deepak Jalana Mushkil Hota Hai…
Pyar Kisi Se Bhi Kar Lena Mushkil Nahi…
Ise Bas Nibhana Mushkil Hota Hai…!!

***

Hum Wo Nahi Jo Tumhe Gam Me Chod Denge…
Hum Wo Nahi Jo Tumse Nata Tod Denge…
Hum To Aapke Wo Dost Hai…
Jo Agar Aapki Saans Band Ho To…
Apni Saans Jod Denge…!!

***

Jinke Liye Tere Armaan Hi Kafi Hai…
Dil Ki Kalam Se Likhi Ye Dastan Hi Kaafi Hai…
Teer Ki Kya Jarurat Hai….Katal Karne Ke Liye…
Teri Muskaan Hi Kaafi Hai…!!

***

Tez Hawa Ka Jhonka Aaya…
Saath Main Teri Khushbu Laya…
Tab Mere Dil Main Khayal Aaya…
Aaj Bhi Mera Dost Nahin Nahaya…!!

***

Har Baat Ka Jawab Inkar Nahin Hota…
Har Jaga Rukna Intzaar Nahi Hota…
Yun To Milti Hai Hazaron Se Nazarein…
Har Nazar Ka Milna Magar Pyar Nahi Hota…!!

***

Jis Din Se Juda Wo Humse Hue…
Is Dil Ne Dharkna Chor Diya…
Hai Chaand Ka Muh Bhi Utra Utra…
Taro Ne Chamkna Chor Diya…!!

***

Yaad Mein Teri Aankhe Bharta Hai Koi…
Har Saans Ke Saath Tujhr Yaad Karta Hai Koi…
Maut To Sachai Hai Aani Hai…
Lakin Teri Judai Har Roj Marta Hai Koi…!!

***

Dard Gairon Ko Sunane Ki Jarurat Kya Hai…
Apne Saath Auron Ko Rulane Ki Jarurat Kya Hai…
Waqt Yun Hi Kam Hai Dosti Ke Liye…
Ruth Kar Waqt Gawane Ki Jarurat Kya Hai…!!

***

Ummed Aesi Ho Jo Jeene Ko Majbur Kare…
Raah Aesi Ho Jo Chalne Ko Majbur Kare…
Mahak Kam Na Ho Kabhi Dosti Main…
Pyar Aesa Ho Jo Milne Ko Majbur Kare…!!

***

Wo Bewafa Hain To Kya…Mat Kaho Bura Usko…
Ke Jo Huwa So Huwa…Khush Rakhe Khuda Usko…!!

***

Na Kar Inkaar A Zalim Mere Paas Aane Se…
Khuda Bhi Ruth Jata Hai Kisi Ka Dil Dukhane Se…!!

***

Dil Todana Humari Aadat Nahi…
Dil Hum Kisi Ka Dukhate Nahi…
Bharosa Rakhna Humari Dosti Pe…
Dost Banker Hum Kisi Ko Bhulate Nahin…!!

***

Bohat Yaad Kiya Humne Tujko…
Bohat Miss Kiya Humne Tujko…
Chaha Kit Tum Yahan Hote…
Kam Se Kam Mere Kuch Dard To Kam Hote…!!

***

Dete Ho Kyun Ye Dard Bas Hum Hi Ko…
Kya Samjoge Tum In Aankhon Ki Name Ko…
Yun To Honge Lakho Deewane Is Chaand Ke…
Chaand Kya Mehsoos Karega Ek Taare Ki Kami Ko…!!

***

Dil Main Tumhare Apni Kami Chor Jayenge…
Aankhon Main Intzaar Ki Lakir Chor Jayenge…
Yaad Rakhna Dhoondhte Rahoge Hume….
Dosti Ki Aesi Kahani Chor Jayenge…!!

***

Aankh To Pyar Main Dil Ki Jubaan Hoti Hai…
Sacchi Chahat To Humesha Bejubaan Hoti Hai…
Pyar Main Dard Bhi Mile To Kya Gabrana…
Suna Hai Dard Se Chahat Jawan Hoti Hai…!!

***

Umar Ki Raah Me Insaan Badal Jaate Hai…
Waqt Ki Aandhi Main Tufaan Badal Jaate Hai…
Sochta Hoon Tumhe Pareshaan Na Karu…
Lekin Baad Main Irada Bada Jata Hai…!!

***

Usko Chaha Bhi To Izhaar Karna Na Aaya…
Kat Gayi Umar Saari Humain Pyar Karna Na Aaya…
Usne Manga Bhi Gar Kuch To Jindagi Mangi…
Aur Hume Inkaar Bhi Karna Naa Aaya…!!

***

Ek Patthar Kafi Hai Sheesha Todne Ke Liye…
Ek Baat Kafi Hai Dil Todne Ke Liye…
Aur Ek Dost Kafi Hai…Jindagi Jee Lene Ke Liye…!!

***

Aankhon Ki Jubaan Samaj Nahi Pate…
Honth Magar Kuch Keh Nahi Pate…
Apni Bebasi Kis Tarah Kahein…
Koi Hai Jiske Bina Hum Reh Nhi Pate…!!

***

Aapki Zindagi Me Kabhi Koi Gam Na Ho…
Aapki Aankhein Kabhi Aansu Se Nam Na Ho…
Aapko Mile Zindagi Ki Har Khushi…
Bhale Hi Us Khush Me Hum Ho Na Ho…!!

***

Puch Lo Tum Bhi Is Jamane Se…
Pyar Chputa Nahi Chupane Se…
Paas Aate Ho, Choote Ho, Baat Krte Ho…
Kabhi Matlab Se, Kabhi Bahane Se…!!

***

Shama Jalti Hai Parwane Chale Aate Hai…
Sar Ke Bal Ishq Ke Deewane Chale Aate Hai…
Ab To Aa Jao Meri Jaan Ki Janajaan Uthne Ko Hai…
Log To Gairon Ko Bhi Dafnane Chale Aate Hai…!!

***

Hum Tere Dil Me Rahenge Ek Yaad Bankar…
Tere Lab Pe Khilenge Muskaan Banker…
Kabhi Apne Se Juda Mat Samajna…
Hum Tere Saath Challenge Aasmaan Bankar…!!

***

Aasuon Ko Bahut Samjaya Ke…
Tanhai Mein Aaya Karo Bhari Mehfil Mein…
Hamara Mazak Na Udaya Karo…
Is Par Aansu Tadap Kar Bole…
Bhari Mehfil Mein Tume Tanha Paate Isliye Chale Aate Hai…!!

***

Uski Yaad Mein Dekho Hum Kya Karte Hain…
Bikhri Hui Zindagi Mein Deewaron Se Baatein Karte Hain…
Dekha Usse Kal Mene Par Wo Ek Chalava Nikla…
Meri Kismet Dekho Jo Mera Tha Who Paraya Nikla…!!

***

Kehte Hai Ishq Mein Toh Lut Jana Chahiye…
Par Jab Pyar Hi Na Mile Ti Kispe Mita Jaye…!!

***

Baatein Karke Bhula Na Dena…
Fasana Banake Mita Na Dena…
Na De Sako Yaari To Gam Nahin…
Par Dost Bane Ho To Bich Raaste Mein Chor Na Dena…!!

***

Aapk Aashiyana Dil Mein Basa Rakha Hai…
Aapki Yaadon Ko Dil Se Laga Rakha Hai…
Pata Nahi Yaad Aapki Hi Kyun Aati Hai…
Jab Ki Dost To Humne Auron Ko Bhi Bana Rakha Hai…!!

***

Humari Khata Pe Naraj Na Hona…
Apni Pyari Si Muskurahat Ko Kabhi Na Khona…
Sukoon Milta Hai Dekh Ke Aapki Muskurahat…
Humain Maut Bhi Aaye To Bhi Mat Rona…!!

***

Unhone Dekha Aur Aansu Gir Pade…
Bhari Basant Mein Jese Phool Gir Pade…
Dukh Ye Nahin Ki Unhone Hume Alvida Kaha…
Dukh To Ye Hai Ke Uske Bad Wo Khud Bhi Ro Pade…!!

***

Raat Aankho Medhali Palkon Par Jugnu Aaye…
Hum Hawao Ki Tarah Jakar Use Choo Aaye…
Usne Choo Kar Mujhe Patthar Se Insaan Kiya…
Mudhaton Baad Meri Aankhon Me Aansu Aaye…!!

***

Jaate Jaate Wo Koi Achhi Nishani De Gayi…
Umar Bhar Dohra Saku Aesi Kahani De Gayi…
Hum To Reh Gaye Pyase….
Par Humari Palko Ko Wo Paani De Gayi…!!

***

Dard Kitne Hai Bata Nahi Sakti…
Zakhm Kitne Hai Dikha Nahi Sakti…
Aankho Se Samajh Sako To Samajh Lo…
Aansoon Gire Hai Kitne Gina Nahi Sakti…!!

***

Nanhe Se Dil Me Koi Armaan Rakhnaa…
Dunia Ki Bheed Main Humari Pehchaan Rakhnaa…
Ache Nahi Lagte Ho, Jab Rahte Ho Udaas…
In Hothon Par Sada Muskaan Rakhna…!!

***

Koi Wada Nahin, Fir Bhi Tera Intzaar Hain…
Judaa Ke Baad Bhi Tumse Pyaar Hai…
Tere Chehre Ki Udaasi De Rahi Hai Gawahi…
Mujse Milne Ko Tu Bekaraar Hai…!!

***

Milega Tera Pyaar To Sanwar Jayenge…
Nahi To Is Duniya  Mein Bikhar Jayenge…
Tum Rahte Ho Sanam Is Jism Mein Jaan Banker…
Chor Ke Ise Jaaoge To Hum Mar Jayenge…!!

***

Hume Pyaar Karne Ka Khayaal Aaya…
Jab Bhi Ye Khayaal Aaya Khud Ko Akela Paaya…
Dhoondhte Rahe Is Duniya Mein Humsafar…
Kisi Ko Dhokhebaaz To Kisi Bewafaa Paaya…!!

***

Aansu Ko Palko Tak Laya Mat Karo…
Dil Ki Baat Kisi Ko Bataya Mat Karo…
Log Muthi Mein Namak Liye Phirte Hai…
Apne Zakham Unhe Dikhaya Mat Karo…!!

***

Zindagi Kisi Ki Mohtaj Nahi Hoti…
Dosti Sirf Jazbaat Nahi Hoti…
Kuch To Khayal Aa A Hoga Khuda Ko Tumhari Bhalai Ka…
Warna Yuhin Humse Aapki Mulakat Nahi Hoti…!!

***

Mana Ki Aaj Hamare Saath Koi Dildaar Nahi…
Lekin Ye Mat Samjhna Ki Hamein Kisi Se Pyar Nahi…
Kismet Ne Sab Kuch Diya Hamein…
Sirf Diya Hamara Who Yaar Nahi…!!

***

Likho To Kuch Aesa Likho…
Kay Kalam Bhi Rone Par Majboor Ho Jaaye…
Har Lafz Mai Wo Dard Paida Karo…
Wo Pyar Karne Pe Majboor Ho Jaaye…!!

***

Log Pyar Karte Hai Bade Shok Ke Saath…
Hamne Bhi Kiya Bade Jor Ke Saath…
Nahi Karna Kisi Aur Ke Saath…
Kyunki Kal Dekha Use Kisi Aur Ke Saath…!!

***

Mulakaat Maut Ki Memaan Ho Gayi Hai…
Nazar Ki Dunai Veerana Ho Gayi Hai…
Ab Meri Saansein Bhi Meri Nahi Rahin…
Ye Zindagi Dosti Par Kurbaan Ho Gayi Hai…!!

***

Tumse Doori Ka Ehsaas Satane Lagaa…
Tere Saath Gujara Har Lamha Yaad Aane Lagaa…
Jab Bhi Tuje Bhulne Ki Koshish Ki Ae Dost…
Tu Dil Ke Aur Kareeb Aane Lagaa…!!

***

Dosti Gazal Hai Gungunane Ke Liye…
Dosti Nagama Hai Sunane Ke Liye…
Ye Wo Jazba Hai Jo Sabki Milta Nahin…
Kyunki Honsala Chahiye Dosti Nibhane Ke Liye…!!

***

Chaand Adhoora Hai Sitaron Ke Bina…
Gulshan Adhoora Hai Baharon Ke Bina…
Samandar Adhoora Hai Kinaron Ke Bina…
Jeena Adhoora Hai Tum Jaise Yaaron Ke Bina…!!

***

Dost Ne Dosti Ke Liye Dost Ko Bhoola Diya…
Kya Hua Jo Kisi Ke Liye Humko Bhoola Diya…
Hum To Akele The Akele Hi Rahe…
Kya Hua Jo Aapne Hume Ehsaas Dila Diya…!!

***

Tumse Doori Ka Ehsaas Satane Lagaa…
Tere Saath Gujra Har Lamha Yaad Aane Lagaa…
Jab Bhi Tujhe Bhulne Ki Koshish Ki E Dost…
Tu Dil Ke Aur Bhi Kareeb Aane Lagaa…!!

***

Laila Ko Majnu Ka Sms Nahi Aaya…
Laila Ne 3 Din Khana Nahi Khaya…
Laila Mar Rahi Thi Majnu Ke Pyar Mein…
Majnu Baitha Tha Sms Free Hone Ke Intezar Mein…!!

***

Dil Mein Reh Reh Keek Shor Ho Raha Hai…
Bin Tumhare Sms Ye Bor Ho Raha Hai…
Aesa To Nahi Ek Pyara Sa Dost…
Mujhse Dur Ho Raha Hai…!!

***

Dil Se Ye Dua Hai Hamari, Zindagi Tumhari Sanwar Jaeein…
Har Nazar Mein Bas Pyar Nazar Aaein…
Tumhe Jiski Talaash Hai E Dost…
Khuda Kare Wo Khud Tumhari Talaash Mein Aaein…!!

***

Zindagi Ko Gale Lagaane Ko Dil Chahta Hai…
Maut Se Hath Milane Ko Dil Chahta Hai…
Jab Aa Jaati Hai Yaad Tumhari To…
Paas Aa Jaane Ko Dil Chahta Hai…!!

***

Khayaal Ko Kisi Aahat Ki Aas Rahti Hai…
Nigaah Ko Kisi Soorat Ki Pyaas Rahti Hai…
Tere Bina Kisi Cheez Ki Kami To Nahin…
Magar Tere Bina Zindagi Udaas Rahti Hai…!!

***

Jab Tak Beeke Na The Hum Koi Poochta Na Tha…
Tune Khareed Ke Humein Anmol Kar Diya…!!

***

Yaad Kartein Hai Yaaron Ko…
Yaadon Se Dil Bhar Aata Hai…
Kal Saath Jiya Karte The Sab…
Aaj Milne Ko Dil Taras Jaata Hai…!!

***

Har Khushi Mein Aapki Baat Karte Hai…
Salamat Rahe Tu Ye Fariyad Karte Hai…
Par Ek Message Se Kya Bataein…
Hum Aapko Kitna Yaad Karte Hai…!!

***

Har Lafz Kitaabon Mein Tera Aks Liye Hai…
Ek Phool Sa Chehra Mujhe Padhne Nahi Deta,,,
Tujse Duri Ka Ehsaas Sataane Lagaa…
Tere Saath Guzara Har Lamha Yaad Aane Lagaa…
Jab Bhi Tujhe Bhoolne Ki Koshish Ki E Dost…
Tu Dil Ke Aur Bhi Kareeb Aane Lagaa…!!

***

Tere Chehre Ki Chamakti Beauty Ne…
Mere Sleeping Heart Ka Awake Kiya…
Mera Dil To Salty Biscuit Tha…
Teri Friendship Ne Meetha Cake Diya…!!

***

Aankhon Mein Khushi, Labo Par Hanseen….
Aur Gam Ka Kahin Naam Na Ho…
Aapko Jahaan Ki Saari Khushiyan Milein…
Aur Fir Un Khushiyon Ki Sham Na Ho…!!

***

Beshak Kuch Waqt Ka Intzaar Mila Humko…
Par Khuda Se Badhkar Yaar Mila Humko…
Na Rahi Tamanna Kisi Jannat Ki…
E Dost! Teri Dosti Se Wo Pyar Mila Humko…!!

***

Kon Kehta Hai Dost Ki Tumse Humari Judai Hogi…
Ye Afwah Jarur Kisi Dushman Ne Udai Hogi…
Shaan Se Rahenge Tumhare Dil Mein Hum…
Itne Dino Mein Kuch To Jagah Banai Hogi…!!

***

Meetha Intzaar To Intzaar Se Yaar Meetha…
Meetha Pyar To Yaar Se Pyar Meetha…
Meetha Pyar To Pyar Se Meethi Apni Yaari…
Isse Meetha Kuch Na Mila Dekhi Dunia Saari…!!

***

Khushiyan Ho Overwork….
Masti Kabhi Na Ho Low…
Dosti Ka Suroor Chaaya Rahe…
Shohrat Ki Ho Bochaar…!!

***

Is Dunia Mein Dost Kam Milenge…
Is Dunia Mein Gam Hi Gam Milenge…
Jahan Dunia Nazar Fira Legi…
Us Mod Pe Dost Khade Hum Milenge…!!

***

Jo Tu Chahe Wo Tera Ho…
Roshan Raatein Aur Khoobsurat Sawera Ho…
Jari Rahe Humari Dosti Ka Silsila…
Kaamyaab Har Manzil Par Dost Mera Ho…!!

***

Dil Ki Galiyon Mein Koi Gam Na Ho…
Apni Ye Dosti Kabhi Kam Na Ho…
Bas Ye Duaa Hai Ki Tum Khush Raho Hamesha…
Fir Chahe Kal Hum Na Ho…!!

***

Jab I Ne U Se Pyar Kiya…
To Night Ko Sleeping Chor Diya…
Tere Face Ki Gentle Beauty Ne…
Mere Kind Heart Ko Tod Dia…!!

***

Jaa Sms Jaa Mere Sweet Dost Ke Paas Jaa…
Dheere Se Jaana, Shor Na Machaana…
Busy  Ho To Chupchaap Rahna…
Free Ho To Miss U Kahna…!!

***

Tamanna Se Nahi Tanhaai Se Darte Hai…
Pyar Se Nahi Ruswai Se Darte Hai…
Milne Ki To Bahot Chahat Hai…
Par Milan Ke Bad Ki Judai Se Darte Hai…!!

***

Bhool Se Koi Bhool Hui To…
Bhool Samajh Kar Bhool Jaana..
Aree Bhoolna Sirf Bhool Ko…
Bhool Se Bhi Humein Na Bhulana…!!

***

Aansu Ki Kimat Wo Kya Jaane…
Jo Har Baat Pe Aansu Bahaate Hai…
Aansuon Ki Kimat Unse Poocho…
Jog Am Me Bhi Hanste Muskurate Hai…!!

***

Tumhari Is Ada Ka Kya Jawab Doon…
Aankhon Ko Tumahari Kya Haseen Khwaab Doon…
Koi Achha Sa Phool Hota To Mali Se Mangwata…
Jo Khud Gulab Hai Use Kya Gulab Doon…!!

***

Aankhon Me Aansu Hai…
Fir Bhi Labon Pe Muskaan Hai…
Jeena Jab Har Haal Mein Hai…
To Hasne Me Kya Nuksaan Hai…!!

***

Muskura Do Jara Khuda Ke Waste…
Shama E Mehfil Me Roshni Kam Hai…
Tum Humare Nahi To Kya Gam Hai…
Hum Tumhare To Hai, Ye Kya Kam Hai…!!

***

Teri Muskaan Hamari Kamjori Hai…
Keh Na Pana Hamari Majboori Hai…
Tum Kyun Nahi Samajhte Hamari Khamoshi Ko…
Kya Khamoshi Ko Jubaan Dena Jaruri Hai…!!

***

Raatein Gumnaam Hoti Hai…
Din Kisi Ke Naam Hota Hai…
Hum Zindagi Kuch Is Tarah Se Jeete Hai…
Ki Har Lamha Sirf Doston Ke Naam Hota Hai…!!

***

Ishq Ke Bhi Kuch Andaaz Hote Hai…
Jaagti Aankhon Mein Bhi Khwaab Hote Hai…
Jaruri Nahin Ke Gam Mein Aansu Nikle…
Muskurati Aankhon Mein Bhi Sailab Hote Hai…!!

***

Har Nazar Ko Ek Nigaah Ka Haq Hai…
Har Noor Ko Ek Aah Ka Haq Hai…
Hum Bhi Dil Lekar Aae Hai Is Dunia Mein…
Hamein Bhi To Ek Gunaah Ka Haq Hai…!!

***

Maut Ke Bad Yaad Aa Raha Hai Koi…
Mitti Kabra Se Utha Raha Hai Koi…
E Khuda! Do Pal Ki Zindagi Aur De De…
Meri Kabra Se Udaas Ja Raha Hai Koi…!!

***

Dil Gumsum Juban Khamosh…
Ye Aankhein Aaj Nam Kyun Hai…
Jab Tujhe Kabhi Paaya Hi Nahi Tha…
To Aaj Khone Ka Gam Kyun Hai…!!

***

Hoti Nahi Mohabbat Soorat Se…
Mohabbat To Dil Se Hoti Hai…
Soorat Unki Khud Hi Pyari Lagti Hai…
Kadra Jinki Dil Mein Hoti Hai…!!

***

Nafaraton Ki Dunia Hai Gafalaton Ka Saayan…
Kon Apna Yahan Kon Paraaya…
Gam Ki Waadiyon Me Bhoola Diya Tha Tumhi Ne…
Jaane Fir Aaj Kyon Teri Yaado Ka Mausam Aaya…!!

***

Har Pal Mein Pyar Hai, Har Lamhe Mein Khushi Hai…
Kho Do To Yaadein Hai, Jee Lo To Zindagi Hai…!!

***

Aap Kis Gam Me Baithe Ho…
Mera Ek Kaam Kar Do Naa…
Meri Julfon Ko Lehra Kar…
Subah Shaam Kar Do Naa…!!

***

Udaasi Tabiyat Pe Chaa Jayegi…
Tumhe Jab Meri Yaad Aayegi…
Mere Baad Dhundhoge Meri Wafaa…
Meri Wafaa To Mere Saath Jayegi…!!

***

Har Jalte Deepak Tale Andhera Hota Hai…
Har Raat Ke Piche Ek Sawera Hota Hai…
Log Dar Jaate Hai Musibat Ko Dekhkar…
Har Musibat Ke Piche Sach Ka Sawera Hota Hai…!!

***

Tere Sath Gujra Lamha Jab Bhi Yaad Aayega…
Is Janam Ke Baad Bhi Tera Khayaal Layega…
Agar Bakhshi Bar Bar Zindagi Khuda Ne…
Tujhse Dosti Karna Ye Dil Har Bar Chahega…!!

***

Dooriyon Ki Na Parwaah Kijiye…
Jab Dil Pukare Bula Lijiye…
Hum Jyada Door Nahi Aapse…
Bas Apni Aankhon Ko Palko Se Mila Lijiye…!!

***

Kese Likhoge Mohabbat Ki Kitaab…
Tum To Karne Lage Pal Pal Ka Hisaab…
Khushk Patto Ka Mausam Lekar…
Aag Ke Shahar Me Rahte Ho Jannab…!!

***

Tum Saath Na Do Mera, Chalna Mujhe Aata Hai…
Har Aag Se Wakif Hoon, Jalna Mujhe Aata Hai…!!

***

Apni Mulakaat Kuch Adoori Si Lagi…
Paas Hokar Bhi Doori Si Lagi…
Honthon Pe Hansi, Aankhon Mein Majboori Si Lagi…
Zindagi Mein Pehli Bar Kisi Ki Dosti Itni Jaruri Lagi…!!

***

Khushiyon Par Fizaon Ka Pahra Hai..
Na Jaane Kis Ummed Par Dil Thahra Hai…
Hamari Aankhon Se Jhalakte Dard Ki Kasam…
Aapki Dosti Ka Rishta Pyar Se Bhi Gahra Hai…!!

***

Ye Dua Hai, Tumhari Zindagi Sanwar Jaye…
Har Taraf Bas Khushi Hi Nazar Aaye..
Khuda Kare Wo Khud Tumhari Talaash Me Aaye…!!

***

Aasmaan Wale Teri Duniya Se Jee Gabra Gaya…
Chaar Din Ki Chandani Meingam Ka Andhera Chaa Gaya…!!

***

Apni Kaho Kuch Meri Suno…
Kya Dil Ko Lagana Bhool Gaye…
Rone Ki Aadat Aesi Padi…
Hasne Ka Jamana Bhool Gaye…!!

***

Gujre Hue Kal Ki Yaad Aati Hai…
Kuch Lamho Se Aankh Bhar Aati Hai…!!

***

Wo Subah Haseen Ho Jaati Hai…
Jab Aap Jese Doston Ki Yaad Aati Hai…!!

***

Zindagi Me Dukh Ko Delete Karo, Khushiyon Ko Save Karo…
Dushman Ko Hide Karo Aur Dost Ko Enter Karo…
Fir Dekhna Tumhari Zindagi Ka Computer Kabhi Hang Nahi Hoga…!!

***

Toofan Mein Logo Ko Kinare Bhi Milte Hain…
Jahaan Mein Logo Ko Sahare Bhi Milte Hai…
Duniya Mein Sabse Pyari Hai Zindagi…
Kuch Log Zindagi Se Pyaare Bhi Milte Hain…!!

***

Kismet E Etbaar Kisko Hai…
Mil Jaye Khushi Inkaar Kisko Hai…
Kuch Majbooriyaan Hai Zindagi Mein Yaar…
Warna Judaai Se Pyar Kisko Hai…!!

***

Unhe Shak Hai Ki Unpe Marte Hain…
Hamein Shak Hai Ki Wo Humpe Marte Hain…
Zindagi Ke Daur Yun Hi Gujarte Hain…
Na Wo Kuch Puchte Hain Na Hum Kuch Kahte Hain…!!

***

Dukh Agar Dard Hai To Dawa Hai Dosti…
Is Gutan Bhari Zindagi Ki Hasin Fizaa Hai Dosti…
Jo Na Samajhe Uske Liye Kuch Nahin Par…
Doston Ke Liye To Khuda Hai Dosti…!!

***

अगर आपको हमारा यह पोस्ट पसंद आया हो, जिसमे ढेर सारे Hindi SMS & Shayari है,  तो जरूर शेयर करें !
Latest Hindi SMS & Shayari के लिए क्लिक करें!